Thank God for Fire.

What. A. Day.

So much intensely vibrant motion of yesterday has taken with it the gusto of sustainability for today. Achingly tired, longing, saddened. Feeling loss, lack, deficit, starvation. So bizarre.

Rob Bresney's Free Will Astrology in The Stranger warned me about such things:

"Leo: Can you feel the moon tugging at the fluids in your body? Usually, you can't. Are you aware of how large-scale cultural influences affect your day-to-day rhythms? Again, that's typically beyond your capacity to sense in any immediate way. But this week, you just might be able to do both of those things. You're more attuned than usual to the subtle currents that are unfolding within you. You're also more alert to the impact that big cosmic energies and long-term historical trends are making on your unconscious mind. I advise you to take maximum advantage of this extra sensitivity. You could discover important clues about how to position yourself to thrive in the face of upcoming social transformations. (PS: Listen reverently to the secrets your body tells you.)

Personally I think this man is sheer genius. One hundred and one times out of a hundred so I pick up this column and either my jaw drops off my face or I just start laughing uncontrollably with utter amazement.

I also read Virgo, being the cuspy Leo that I am. This week, he talks about adopting the "chaotic/good" approach to the real-life D&D character that I play. I love it.

Scorpio moon today. Laying around on the bed in the middle of the day, disappearing into paper white blankness, to a place where sounds have color and very distinct shapes, and I think, "This is a form of death. In this moment, I have simply died and, I guess, also reborn. " Naps are a blessed thing.

Thank God for Fire.

Tonight at the fire I watched a log sit upon the glowing embers of its predecessors for a long time without catching flame. Smoke twisted and leaked out of it, the water shrieking to escape the rising pressure of its container. A metaphor came to me, one of Five Element Theory basis:

Water must escape Wood in order for Wood to enter Fire.

Emotions must escape Ego in order for Ego to enter Transformation.

We must let go of who we think we are in order to change into who we may want to become (or not become).

Perspective.

After that crazy death nap, I was voraciously moved to write about this abandoned shoe factory in Brockton where we'd all go to shoot pool and listen to the guys play their modern-day sob rock and drink and smoke 'til we choked.

It went something like this:

When the screams of the wild horses have ceased
When the glory of abundant moving progress
has fixed itself to the corpses of ancient things
cut down and made modern
and aged itself, chipping
slipping lead into our lungs.

The building stands
an erect and dying tomb
like an empty socket
of a skull

housing only memories
of blood and death
ripping skin and
crushing dreams
and howling, insane
are the only remaining
signs of life

and we, like mucoid slime fungus
seep in and grow yeasty
fermenting and rooting
we absorb its toxic love
like we can sustain upon death

Martyrs of Economic Madness

yeah....perhaps I've been reading too much Mary Oliver lately, but that wicked piece really wanted to come out. It's been hard to process Brockton. That was three years of never-ceasing bombardment of toxicity. So strange. My heart aches for the vacancy of life in those places.

On the way back from the fire, the flames still twisting about in my system, more came out:

The world is dreaming fervently
desparately seeking
to save her children.

This is not a mistake.

It is a consequence
of consciousness
that we are terrifyingly privy to.

Fate doesn't hate.

Breathing through constricted airways
raised by white sugar
and shiny objects

Our dreams thump about blindly in the dark
knocking into the nightstand
making us sit up from our slumber
in fright
we assure ourselves
"It was only a dream"
and unnervingly
slip back into sleep.

Tonight my prayer is for awakening. Awaken the hearts of all my relations into their deepest and truest dreams of their hearts.