Spirit Talk

...so I was outside for a nightly smoke, wondering which season of "House" to plug in and watch for the evening, when a westerly spirit came to visit. Her advice tonight was to write instead.

So I give this session up to that spirit, and Spirit in general, starting......now:

Great winds of the West, bringing rain
bringing comfort
bringing clarity
and cleansing

what do we have here?
what do we as humans, have here
here, now, in this moment
in this rain?

we have drops on asphalt
we have a damp chill
that brings us into our bodies
that we draw into our lungs and our heart
that we may be reminded
of our one true precious gift
of breath
of life

the maple stands strong to the north of me
how many raindrops has she felt?
as many wild thoughts as I have felt?
as many deep impressions as we have collected
like the spiky seedlings scattered from her
with the wind?

asking questions
does more
than
answering them
sometimes

i ache
as I break
away
from
old expectations
and resurface
only to find
more
there

is it unrealistic
to expect
lack of expectation?

inside
warmth
and uneasiness
the usual state of
disarray
that I keep
in defiance
of the box of order

I keep
with me
only light
and memory
they complement one another
one would not be without the other

my heart speaks
in multiple tongues
simultaneously
harmonizing
as one
and yet
the message
is mangled
sometimes
the message
is unclear
sometimes
the thought
interferes with such gusto
as if it's life depended on
interfering
referee-ing
juggling
the wild thoughts
the deep impressions

like my mother
standing in the doorway
witness to my anguish
unknowing
perhaps helpless
perhaps voiceless
longing to make things right
for me
when things were right
for me
all along

I signed up for this
as did you
I signed up for the experience
of helplessness
of anguish
of wild thoughts and deep impressions
knotted up with
the passion
to make things right

undo the knots
sink deeper
beyond wild thoughts
past deep impressions
into this body
into this life
it is our one precious gift
to breathe
into this body